Finding What Is Lost
by dashinginconverse
Summary: She's in front of him, staring at the locker room door as if afraid to go inside, her tiny hands clenched into fists, her wedding ring glinting mockingly in the light, and Seth Rollins feels the weight of her decision settle deep in his chest. RollinsAJ, oneshot


_**Disclamer: **__I don't own anything._

_**Summary: She's in front of him, staring at the locker room door as if afraid to go inside, her tiny hands clenched into fists, her wedding ring glinting mockingly in the light, and Seth Rollins feels the weight of her decision settle deep in his chest. RollinsAJ, oneshot**_

_Okay, so I am kind of (okay, __**very**__) sad about AJ's retirement. I mean, she's been my favorite Diva for so long and it is going to feel so weird without her around. But, I understand she has to do what is best for her and she gave us so many great matches and feuds and raised the Divas division up when it was at its lowest point. So, I guess this fanfic is kind of my way to...cope? That sounds right. It's also a new pairing that I've been intrigued by and my first fanfic on my brand new computer! (I've been MIA for a while, I realize, since my old comp was on its last legs the last time I posted anything. And it's been a big ordeal trying to get a new one.) Anyway! I hope that y'all enjoy this fanfic. I've got so many ideas to write and hopefully I will have more stories up soon now that I am able! Thanks so much for sticking with me!_

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**Finding What Is Lost**

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He doesn't mean to go searching for her; it just happens.

Seth Rollins knows AJ Lee wants nothing to do with him, has barely said more than two words to them, and both had been accusatory, had been painfully laden with a harshness that was so like her and yet so not. And yet, despite these things, he still finds himself searching, fruitlessly, for the better part of an hour, searching for this slip of a woman who will not grace the squared circle any longer.

The thought alone is enough to place an icy stake through his chest - not just because the Divas division is losing one of their most valuable assets, but because of something deeper, something that Seth does not want to focus brainpower into deciphering.

Seth knows he's done some horrible things to get himself to the top. He's betrayed, he's lied, he's played the villain in every sense of the word. He's cut every tie imaginable, even the ones that mattered most to him at one point in time.

_And they still do, _a darker voice whispers, in the back of his mind. Seth growls at himself and stamps the feeling down, as he always does, but the words haunt him no matter how hard he demands they die.

But his self-loathing is not why he is looking for her. He's searching for her, for whatever reason that always draws him to her. He's searching for her, because she's become more important to him than she can ever realize. He's searching for her, because..._because_...

The Architect decides he does not want to finish that sentence.

And, just as puts that thought to bed, he finds her.

It's the sort of place he should have checked first, the sort of place that makes him want to slap his forehead and go, _"Well, duh, she'd be here," _and that is the exact thought that makes its way through his mind. Because _of course _she'd be here. It makes the most sense, after all.

For a moment, he just stands in place, fancying himself her shadow. The darkness hides him well, but he can't be sure she'd notice him even if he had a spotlight placed on him.

AJ stands in front of him, almost close enough to reach out and touch, her back to him, staring at the door to the women's locker room. Her tiny fists are clenched at her sides, and even so, he can see the mocking glint of her wedding ring. She has no bags on her shoulders, no boots in hand, nothing to signify her departure.

Seth waits for a moment, unsure of how to proceed. It's strange, the hesitation he feels in this moment, when he is hardly the hesitant type. Calculating, sure, but never hesitant.

His eyes graze her form, the thick brown hair, the tanned skin, the shapely legs and toned lower back. He even takes in the details of her converse, her signature T-shirt, her nail polish, the way the dim light makes her hair glow in odd places. For some reason, it feels infinitely important to remember her in this moment.

"Not really sure who's behind me," she drawls, "but I appreciate creepers about as much I appreciate the Bellas."

Seth fights a smirk and fails. "It's just me, Lee."

AJ doesn't turn, but he can hear her laugh, sweet and cynical all at once. It is enough to drown him. "And what do you want?"

For once, Seth can find no words to defend himself. It is the oddest feeling, being questioned and having nothing to fire back with, especially when concerning this petite Diva. He just swings his arms back and forth, eyes focused on her own, so similar in color and yet completely different in emotion. A few seconds pass, and he figures he better give her an answer, lest she start ignoring him in favor of whatever it was she was doing, so - intelligently - he says, "I don't know."

AJ laughs again. It's musical, like the tinkling of bells. "Where has your eloquence gone, Rollins?"

If he were a braver man, he'd say, _All rational thought escaped me when I found out you were leaving._

But he is a coward, so he just scoffs and shrugs his shoulders.

"Usually when people stare intently at your back, they want to say something," she says, her voice slightly gentler than before. Now _that _was a miracle in and of itself, he figures.

"I guess I was just wondering what you were doing there," he replies.

Shockingly, AJ's smile softens somewhat before she turns around and faces the door in front of her yet again.

There's a small pause of uncertainty, so clearly unlike AJ, before she starts speaking.

"I was just thinking..."

Seth is silent - waiting, watching, _wanting_.

"This is my last time to go in there, gather my things, talk with the girls, and head home." AJ shakes her head slightly. "But now, when I head home, I know I won't be coming back... Doing all that stuff has been the norm for so long and now...without it..."

"You feel like you're falling."

The brunette turns and looks at him, a sense of wonderment set deep in her eyes. She says nothing.

"I've been told I'm quite eloquent."

The Black Widow laughs, wild and uncaring and bright. "I suppose you have."

As if that small comment was enough to give AJ the push to actually open the door, she reaches out a hand, black nails glinting in the light, the wedding ring oddly luminous amongst all the dark colors she wears, and curls her fingers around the knob.

The words are out before he can stop them. "I miss you."

AJ's tiny shoulders stiffen. She turns just slightly so she can glimpse him over her shoulder and he hopes she can't make out the utter hopelessness that has fallen across his face.

"I'm not gone yet," she whispers, slightly humorous, slightly melancholy.

There's a lump in his throat as he inhales a shuddering breath. "Exactly."

AJ turns completely away from him and Seth wants to believe he was imagining the catch in her throat as she disappears into the locker room, dark hair trailing behind her, but it was all too real. The gasp of air was enough to take all the oxygen from him, as if wishing for his death.

Before the door closes behind her, he hears the damning whisper, as soft as a ghost's sigh.

"I miss you, too."

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_**End.**_


End file.
